Kol Halev

The world struggles to understand why Brian Nichols allowed Ashley Smith to live. The answer may be easy. In an evening of hours, Ashley gave him a gift. Compassion. In a world where people feel unheard and alone, he spoke, she listened, she spoke, he heard. Two strangers knew for one night, each of them was visible and alive. The 26 year old widow said, God brought him, a wanted murderer, to my door.

Somewhere around 2 a.m in the parking lot of Smiths apartment, God knocked. Early Saturday morning, Nichols, a fugitive, stuck a gun in Smiths side. The single mother said she had gone to the local store. She reported Nichols tied her up in her bathroom while he showered. Respecting each others modesty, he draped a towel over her head. He said, Im not going to hurt you if you just do what I say. I dont want to hurt anybody else.

Ashley Smith had moved into her new apartment two days earlier. Smith does not explain why her 5 year old daughter, Paige, was not with her that night, only that Paige was scheduled to see her mom at church later that morning. The widowed mother, complimented by enforcement for her calm handling of the situation, is receiving a $10,000 cash reward for her phone call leading to Nichols arrest. Smith says Nichols knew when he released her to go see Paige, 911 would be called. When they came for him, Nichols guns were under Smiths bed. And he was waving a white flag.
Little did enforcement know, Brian had already surrendered. To Ashleys faith in God.

In the course of the evening, Smith says she talked about her life, her husband who died in her arms four years earlier from a stabbing. Smith showed Nichols photos of her family. She said Paige didn't have a daddy anymore and if he killed me she wouldn't have a mommy either. Nichols understood. The 33 year old murderer is a father. Nichols brother Mark revealed on Larry King Live, Brian has a daughter, his lesson on loss.
Nichols paternity was questioned. The night before his courthouse murders in Georgia, Ashley is reported having told media Brian told her he fathered a son.

The day before Brian punched a deputy, shot a judge, a court reporter and a federal agent, the judge presiding over Nichols rape re-trial, called attending attorneys into chambers. Barnes told them two shanks believed to be metal weapons were found in Nichols shoes. That night Brians son was born. The next day, after his murderous rampage, the Brian who grew up in Baltimore was re-born.

Brian was raised a good Catholic boy. He graduated high school, attended college, and, his brother in interview with Larry King said Brian achieved the black mans dream. He was an engineer, earning six figures, living in a condo with a woman, Mark Nichols described as the daughter my mother never had. Mark and Brian were only children, two sons playing video games late into the night, even after they grew up. Mark, the older brother by four years, described himself as the brother most likely to have made the headlines Brian did. A history of arrests, etcetera. Mark told Larry King, he lived rent free with Brian for 6 to 8 months when his life wasnt going well. Both brothers played football, piano. Brian was the brother who went to church. And then they fell out of touch. It seems Mark, live on national TV in LA, didnt speak to Brian for several years.
And when 6 feet tall, 210 pound Brian, charged with rape called his older brother collect from jail, Marks line was blocked from receiving Brians calls. Mark, a Florida resident, hasnt spoken with Brian, yet, right now, a casualty of his brothers deeds, Mark wants his privacy back- no media coming to the barber shop where he works, no contact cards left on his cars, no TV crew trucks parked outside his home. Early into the manhunt, Mark was reported saying, now I will be known as the brother of this man who murdered, and concerned he might be evicted from his apartment because "everyone knows me as the brother of the person who killed those people."

The rape trial was re-heard because the first jurys verdict came in, hung. 8 jurors voted Brian innocent of attacking his long-term girlfriend, 2004, with a machine gun, duct tape and alleged sexual assault lasting 3 days. When their 8 year up-and-down relationship hit the skids, he slept with another woman who became pregnant. Nichols said he and the longtime girlfriend reconciled with consensual sex." The other womans pregnancy dampened the reunion. "He wanted to remain with her." "She did not want to be with him. Media reported she was with somebody else. Then she claimed he attacked her back in August."

A neighbor from Nichols' childhood in Baltimore, when asked about the cop killer she knew as a youth, said, "I really think that whatever the problem was, it lies somewhere way beyond what we can see." Usually it does, behind closed doors of families in all kinds of socio-economic neighborhoods. And men charged with rape by women terminating relationships. The computer consultant was laid off from his coveted job with Hewlett-Packard after his arrest in September.

While Ashley Smith showed Nichols a photo of her family, media showed the world a portrait of his, an aunt who stands beside her nephew, an uncle saying, "Brian is a nice young man, and Nichols parents, retired to Tanzania, expected to return to the United States by months end, fifteen days after his murdering spree took place. Media reported Nichols brother thought the prospect of life in prison made Brian snap. Nichols sister-in-law who knows him almost 26 years said Brian faced his rape trial alone without family. They were unable to leave work. "Maybe when he got into court and the trial started going, maybe it just hit him."

Smith said Nichols called her an angel sent from God, that in Christ, I was his sister and he was my brother. She said she talked, gently, about family, the Bible and Rev. Rick Warrens The Purpose Driven Life. Smith quoted Nichols watching news reporting on the manhunt, Look at my eyes.
Im already dead. She recalled thinking he didnt want to do it anymore.

The author of The Purpose Driven Life, in an earlier interview with Larry King said, I think everybody at some point kind of lays their head down on the pillow and goes, what's this all about? I think everybody wants to know their purpose in life. Smith prayed with Nichols. In the morning, over pancakes with butter, she told the man who once played piano for church services he had a purpose, his destiny was to be caught and spread Gods word to fellow prisoners, You are in my apartment for some reason. She said Nichols was overwhelmed. Hazarding a guess, he felt valued, psychologically home in a world where many struggle with being disconnected from support, faith, friends, family and love. Brian Nichols, before being arrested, was visible in a world people walk around in feeling they are not known, seen, heard, and respected. Ashley said, Most of my time was spent talking to this man about my life and my experiences. With minutes ticking into hours, somehow Smith lost track of time, not realizing just how long shed been bonding in faith with Nichols. "He didn't want to die, she said, her fear shifted to compassion, He was scared having to face what he had done already."

Rev. Warren says everybody's life is driven by something. For some, it is fearing failing expectations from parents, spouses or siblings. Others are driven by worry, guilt or shame. And loneliness. Warren says part of the purpose people are put on Earth is to know God and to help othes, as did these two southern ships passing on this fear-filled Georgia Saturday night.

Smith said she turned to the chapter of Rev. Warrens book she was on that day, Chapter 33, and read Brian the first paragraph of it. She said he asked her to repeat the paragraph "about what you thought your purpose in life was, what talents were you given." Then Smith said, When he let me leave to go see my 5-year-old daughter at church, later that same morning, the new father facing death row sent a message through his saviour to the 5 year old girl he may never meet, "Will you tell Paige hello for me?"

A message cast in a bottle unto rough waters. Maybe. Or a lesson, readers need to hear time again. Tell a loved one they are cherished, in a way they can believe they are valued because sometimes future opportunities for those three words may never come. And maybe, hearing, I love you, I respect you, or you are valued, a seemingly good person may not be led down the path of doing something so obviously bad.
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